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empresspinto:

valkubus:

mycroftsbooty:

shslspookyscary:

adropofred:

comment s’appelle un chien qui vend des médicaments?

un pharmachien

why the fuck is this joke in french and why there is 26k notes am i missing something important

something really important

what do you call a dog that sells drugs?

a pharmacy

yeah it’s really only funny in french

(via reichenbachtrip)

Entitled

  • Me:

    This older generation pisses me off so much

  • Therapist:

    Why?

  • Me:

    Because when I was growing up, we were forcefed the idea that if we didn't want to be 'flipping burgers at McDonalds,' then we'd better go to college.

  • Therapist:

    And?

  • Me:

    And now we've all gone to college, have degrees, can't get a damn job, and the same people that told us to go to college call us entitled assholes because we refuse to flip burgers

  • Therapist:

    Touche

  • DC:

    Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

  • Marvel:

    YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

  • DC:

    We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

  • Marvel:

    HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

  • DC:

    The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

  • Marvel:

    DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

  • DC:

    After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

  • Marvel:

    PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

  • DC:

    We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

  • Marvel:

    NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

  • DC:

    We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

  • Marvel:

    NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS SWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

  • DC:

    We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

  • Marvel:

    FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

  • DC:

    Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

  • Marvel:

    NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

  • DC:

    Wait-

  • Marvel:

    NEW FEMALE THOR

  • DC:

    I didn't-

  • Marvel:

    NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

  • Marvel:

    TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

  • Marvel:

    PEACE

sansaofhousestark:

doctorkpepper:

henrycavills:

in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck

this is why you guys had the black plague.

castiel-is-wonderful:

sionainnlindsay:

castiel-is-wonderful:

WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP

IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S 

LIKE BELONGING TO MR

OMG

Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.

This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me 

(Source: khaleeesii)

1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.

2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.

3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting,see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.

4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.

6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.

7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.

My father’s recipe for the man I should marry (part 1/2 of a series). /// r.i.d (via c-ultures)

someidiotontheinternet:

principiosrotos:

my best friend is an atheist, but whenever she is comforting me with something in my life she uses examples of God to help me because she knows it makes me feel better, and vice versa, when i comfort her i never bring up God because i respect that it’s not something that helps or works for her

i feel like this is a model of how the world should work

that is perfect

(Source: i-hope-you-choke-on-it)

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